Dub’s Dozen Lessons of the Decade

The beginning of every year is a time for introspection and reflection, but the beginning of a DECADE seems even more momentous. How are you different than you were in 2010? What have you learned? How have you grown?

On the eve of this new decade, I share a dozen lessons that I’ve learned over the past ten years (although, most of them I eked out in 2019!). Drum roll please……

1.       I am responsible for my own happiness.  I have to do the hard work of self-care all on my own.  Conversely, I am not responsible for anyone else’s happiness.  They have to do the hard work of self-care all on their own. 

2.       I am stronger and more resilient than I knew.  Becoming a foster parent revealed the strong backbone that I had been in search of my whole life. 

3.       The universe will provide the support you need – if only you ask.  If you ask for help from others or from the creative life force, it will show up in ways you never expected. 

4.       If someone looks like s/he could be cast as the villain in a movie, steer clear.  S/he is likely not a good person.  Don’t try to prove the theory wrong! 

5.       The people you work with are often more important than the work that you do.  I’ve worked in every type of situation from toxic to dreamy.  And, the people are what determine how happy I am going to work every day.

6.       Change happens slowly and all at once.  I can pinpoint the minute that I decided to no longer practice law – in a flash of clarity.  But, looking back, I had been grappling with the decision for a couple of years.

7.       Growth is intensely uncomfortable.  Take the caterpillar as an example.  To become a butterfly, the caterpillar has to LITERALLY digest itself and dissolve all of its tissues before transforming into a butterfly.  If caterpillars knew the process, they might choose to skip it entirely – never knowing the feeling of flight.  Rapid growth and development are highly uncomfortable – even painful – and you might choose to skip it entirely with the intention of self-protection.  But, if you do, you will never spread your wings and fly. 

8.       I am not my job.  For so long, my identity was wrapped up in what I did, in being a lawyer.  I am a whole, worthy person irrespective of the work I do.  And, so is everyone else. 

9.       Give with an abundant heart.  If I can’t give a gift <including the gift of my time> without ANY expectations <including the expectation of gratitude or timeliness>, then I don’t do it.  At that point, it’s a transaction, not a gift. 

10.   My yes is meaningless if I never say no.  If I say yes to everything that people ask of me, then the expectation is that I’ll say yes.  It is as meaningless as a grain of sand.  But, if I am selective in how I spend my time and frequently say “no” to tasks, organizations, and people that aren’t in alignment with the life I have or the life I want, then my “yes” becomes very valuable and coveted indeed.

11.   How I spend my days is how I spend my life. I need to spend them with people I love doing work that I love. 

12.    “Thy will be done” is the only prayer I need.  The God I believe in is a God of creation, security, abundance, and love.  The creative life force’s plan for me is more magnificent than any plan I could create for myself, so “thy will be done” is the only prayer I need. 

I wish you abundant blessings in 2020. Cheers to good health and good fortune!

Remember, anything or anyone who doesn’t LIGHT YOU UP is too small for you, SNW

Sarah-Nell Walsh

Business Coach + Growth Strategist